Me and The Boss

August 11, 2010

“Lights out tonight
trouble in the heartland
Got a head-on collision
smashin’ in my guts, man
I’m caught in a cross fire
that I don’t understand
But there’s one thing I know for sure girl
I don’t give a damn
For the same old played out scenes
I don’t give a damn
For just the in betweens
Honey, I want the heart, I want the soul
I want control right now
talk about a dream
Try to make it real
you wake up in the night
With a fear so real
Spend your life waiting
for a moment that just don’t come
Well, don’t waste your time waiting…”

– Badlands- Bruce Springsteen

I am an intense, fanatical lover of The Boss.  I think that we are kindred spirits and that maybe we share a tiny piece of soul in some far away parallel universe.  No one can put my feelings into words better than him, and I literally feel his music in the marrow of my bones. How did he know in 1978 when Badlands was written (coincidentally the year of my birth) how I was going to feel when I was 32 years old? Maybe it’s not a coincidence and with sharing that piece of soul like we do, it inspired him to write a song for me to seek comfort in when I feel lost. 

Yeah! That sounds like exactly what happened… so from this point forward I will be telling everyone that Bruce wrote a song for me. And that we are very close. Because in my mind we are besties.

 If only I could ask him if he too felt like this… like he was on the on the verge of something bigger?  Did he feel the heaviness of the stagnant energy weighing him down like 15 tons of bricks.

Because that is how I feel. Right now. Like everything is redundant, same ole same ole, and its played out… like a motherfucker.

I want something to sink my teeth into that is all for me. Something that jumps starts my dead battery. Something that ignites a fire and makes me feel glad to be alive. Cuz as Bruce says “it ain’t no sin to be glad your alive.”  

 I don’t want to “waste my time waiting for a moment that just don’t come”… and that’s what I have been doing for all this time. I have been waiting for something amazing to just happen to me, some passion to find me, be it a job, a man or even friends that “get” me. Well, I think Bruce is saying that things don’t just happen to you. Life requires active participation… Geez… this would be so much easier if Bruce wasn’t so cryptic! I guess he wants me to realize the lesson on my own…

 Here is my own analogy. Fabric doesn’t just morph into a beautiful dress. You have to weave it, dye it, cut it, and sew it. Even when it is an actual dress you have to care for it and clean it and iron when necessary.  And then when you have outgrown that beautiful dress, physically or fashionably, pass it on to a new owner.  Nothing is permanent and everything is constantly changing around you so stop clinging to the dress that doesn’t fit you or your life anymore!

 Wow what a long twisted road of a ramble we went on today… not sure if any of that makes sense.

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2 Responses to “Me and The Boss”

  1. imeanwell said

    I think it makes perfect sense. When I read your dress metaphor I was thinking, “Yeah! Weave it, dye it, cut it, sew it. Sure, take care of it. Yeah.” But you know what’s missing? WEAR it!! Flaunt it! Dance in it. Stain it. Get it sweaty. Rip the strap in a fit of passion!

    Strut your stuff, Wendy! Spill some gravy on that beautiful dress. And then go make a new one.

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